Ups and Down Life of Highschool

Assalammualaikum

Beware ! This is a long story 

This is a story that I always wanted to share , but I usually hesitate myself from doing it but here I am now , writing in my blog .

I believe that everyone have its own ups and down life , 

maybe its from different aspects , one way or another ,

as we humans would not be at ease every time ..

And this is my story .

Anyone out there who knew me from lower form ,

I used to get what I wanted ,

I studied and got good grades ,

being one of the top student in my batch ,

I'm among the students who teacher always relied on ,

who friends always asked me to teach them this and that ..

no ! this is not a bragging ! 

Hey welcome to my upperform life

360 degree change ? u count it 

I was accepted to enter a pkp mrsm

So I changed school 

I've struggled a lot to be the best in my upper form years 

rumors spread among my new friends that I used to be a 4.0 flat student before ,

then

my first exam there ,

my ranking was about 15-20 ( I hardly remembered )

I'm quite upset because I think that I could do better than that ,

my exam results in langkawi always turn out to be not like I wanted ,

my ranking goes down and down as time flies

the conclusion for my academic performance ; bad

that was a tough thing to handle .

next ,

I was elected to be the academic exco in the bwp organisation
why is this tough for me ?

because the role of an academic exco is u need to look after the performance of students in every exams , to give ideas on how to improve this and that , and the most important is you yourself have to be a good role model which means u need to strive excellent in exams ,
so how it feels to be taking care of someone else result when you, as an academic exco yourself result is bad ?
it was very challenging :'(

then ,
I have to bear the kind of feeling when your friends know you as a top student before
and she/he thinks that u are still doing good
that feeling when a group of top students were elected to join a benchmarking , a programme ,
and your friends asked you about that
and your answer is "nooo I was not chosen , my trial result was bad and etc"

I have to endure that feeling when u think u have done it all , you've done your best , u think that you've taken care of everything, but yet things become worst . And u tried to search where is the spot which you have taken the wrong steps ? :(

That feeling when in trial examination  everyone else result turns to be obviously improving but your result was obviously doing the other direction :(

I've struggled a lot . I don't know how to express this or maybe you think that this is just a small matter , I don't know but this is what I felt . My upper form life is just different , different ..

At one point , I think that He took one of the blessings He gave me before

It was a big challenge for me ,  I wanted to be the best (who doesn't? ) but things keep running the other way .. I appeared to be someone who is strong , giving advices to other friends but the fact is , I was crying my heart out to my mom at night telling her how stressful I am . At one point , no , maybe for two or three points or more that that , I felt like giving up . I felt that everything around me was making me sad .. I wanted to find someone who was experiencing the same situation as mine because other people might not really understand how it feels ..

But through all these days , I still have faith in Him .
I've keep on doing my best , try to take care of everything , being a hardworking person as much as I could , motivating myself to be strong going through all these tests , try to ignore my history because I believe He would not disappoint me .

Test ? yes this is a test .
I was grateful though ,
with this test
I learned to be grateful , I learned to be someone who is stronger facing obstacles , I learned to be someone who always put hope to the only One , I learned to accept failures , I learned to accept reality on that time and be patient , I learned to look everything as a positive thing , I learned to believe in myself , I learned to not give up .

The point that I wanted to deliver here is ,
When you've worked hard , always stand up back everytime you fall .
believe in Him , do not compare yourself with other people because our blessings are different ;) and try to search the good in every hardship you experienced , one day you will succeed inshaaAllah :'D

To those who till now doesn't get the result you wanted , do not give up , remember to have faith that one day your time will come ! One way or another :)

we might have different story , different test but the solution to overcome it , is the same :
to have faith in Him

Sincerely by Amira Aina :)